Marketing Madness, Oz style

Dear Readers

I need your help finding someone.

A few days ago I met the most incredible woman in the world. While this might come as a shock to my wife, I believe that she is the woman of my dreams.

The plot of this encounter could have come from a script writer’s imagination. There I was in the top level of the train on Thursday morning, reading my newspaper when I felt a presence sit down in the vacant seat beside me.

I turned to give my customary scowl to the public transport trolls who inhabit the North Shore Line and…fell in love.

She had these crystal blue eyes that peered into my soul and saw things even I don’t know. Long Blond hair cascaded over a heart shaped face that would make a bishop kick a hole in a stained glass window. She had a figure that just wouldn’t quit, whatever that means. Her ruby red lips smiled at me as she said "Hope you don’t mind me sitting here. My name is Sindy Mornwing Harold and I’m a part time model specializing in Viral Marketing Campaigns".

"But of course you are" I replied with my usual Bondion wit. Taking a chance, I threw caution to the wind and asked "Would you like to read the Herald with me?
"
"I’d be delighted" the goddess cooed with a knowing smile. She knew I had more than current affairs on my mind!

Anyway, over the course of the journey to the city we engaged. We laughed at the freaks in the letters page; we shook our heads in despair over the right wing antics of Miranda. We talk and I’m amazed. She was clear, concise, knowledgeable and not biased at all.

But our time was cut short. Clearly life was calling. The train pulled into my stop. I walked down the aisle with her, surely a premonition of things to come. Alighting from the train, I turned to her, trying to think of some romantic parting words. As the doors started to close, sweet nothings on my lips, I realize the impossible has happened; she still had my Herald! I was left holding the business section watching my fantasy disappear into the distance.

Now a cynic would have assumed she stole my paper. But I know this is just a ruse for me to prove my love and find her. Using traditional viral methods like You-tube and blogs are all so Generation Y. Being an X man, I’ve decided to go straight for the Heckler.

So if anyone has seen my Sindy Mornwing Harold, please let me know. You can reach me courtesy of the Fairfax Marketing Department.

Robert Jordan RIP

Happy new Year to the Goat Devotees...Sorry I have been slack last year. One post a year is pretty ordinary, even by my pathetic standards. I will endeavour to be a little more diligent with my postings this year...promise!

So, onto this weeks post, Robert Jordan. I often find that the holiday's give me a chance to catch up on my reading and once again, I have turned to the excellent Wheel of Time Series of books by Robert Jordan.

Over the Christmas period I completed the excellent first book "The Eye of the world" and are currently half way through the second novel, "The Great Hunt", also a compelling read.

I still remember picking up these books around 5 years ago and feeling the magic; the well described characters, the plot lines that held such mystery that you had to keep on reading. I also enjoyed the fact that Jordan was a descriptive writer, but that the description wasn't the be all and end all unlike say Tolkien (who seemed to feel the need to describe a tree for what seemed like 20 pages).

Every time a new book was released, I bought it and was amazed to discover that the writing was consistently excellent......
So there was "The Dragon Reborn ", "The Shadow Rising", The Fires from Heaven", "Lord of Chaos" and "Crown of Swords". All equally impressive and up there with my all time favourite fantasy book "Magician" by Raymond E Feist.

Then the wheels started to fall off, After Crown of Swords, the following books seemed more like filler. I stayed true to the cause and read "Path of Daggers","Winters Heart", "Crossroads of Twilight" and "Knife of Dreams". Pretty hard work to get through them. I think Jordan had introduced far too many characters in his universe and was struggling to ensure that their arcs were maintained. Either that or he was writing for the rent money. The first 6 books came out at the rate of 1 per year, but the last 4 seemed to take two years a piece. Maybe the pressure of producing 12 books (each over 700 pages long) was too much. He had lost that loving feeling.

And then the moment that all of his loyal readers feared would happen; he died! With the series incomplete. And the last book is key. Its where we find out what the bloody hell happens to these characters we have grown to love (or hate). The last book is to be written by another author, who will no doubt try his best. It could be a blessing in disguise; a new author could inject some passion into the books again. However, it could all end in tears.

So the moral to the story is clear. If you are an author...write in trilogies. Don't leave the readers guessing