Marketing Madness, Oz style

Dear Readers

I need your help finding someone.

A few days ago I met the most incredible woman in the world. While this might come as a shock to my wife, I believe that she is the woman of my dreams.

The plot of this encounter could have come from a script writer’s imagination. There I was in the top level of the train on Thursday morning, reading my newspaper when I felt a presence sit down in the vacant seat beside me.

I turned to give my customary scowl to the public transport trolls who inhabit the North Shore Line and…fell in love.

She had these crystal blue eyes that peered into my soul and saw things even I don’t know. Long Blond hair cascaded over a heart shaped face that would make a bishop kick a hole in a stained glass window. She had a figure that just wouldn’t quit, whatever that means. Her ruby red lips smiled at me as she said "Hope you don’t mind me sitting here. My name is Sindy Mornwing Harold and I’m a part time model specializing in Viral Marketing Campaigns".

"But of course you are" I replied with my usual Bondion wit. Taking a chance, I threw caution to the wind and asked "Would you like to read the Herald with me?
"
"I’d be delighted" the goddess cooed with a knowing smile. She knew I had more than current affairs on my mind!

Anyway, over the course of the journey to the city we engaged. We laughed at the freaks in the letters page; we shook our heads in despair over the right wing antics of Miranda. We talk and I’m amazed. She was clear, concise, knowledgeable and not biased at all.

But our time was cut short. Clearly life was calling. The train pulled into my stop. I walked down the aisle with her, surely a premonition of things to come. Alighting from the train, I turned to her, trying to think of some romantic parting words. As the doors started to close, sweet nothings on my lips, I realize the impossible has happened; she still had my Herald! I was left holding the business section watching my fantasy disappear into the distance.

Now a cynic would have assumed she stole my paper. But I know this is just a ruse for me to prove my love and find her. Using traditional viral methods like You-tube and blogs are all so Generation Y. Being an X man, I’ve decided to go straight for the Heckler.

So if anyone has seen my Sindy Mornwing Harold, please let me know. You can reach me courtesy of the Fairfax Marketing Department.