Reality Check

Under siege captain of the Australian Cricket team, Picky Ronting seemed to have all the answers when interviewed on the eve of the tour of South Africa.

A journalist opened the inquisition with a question regarding the Australian’s team poor performance and how Picky felt going up against a resurgent South African Team on their home soil

“Are we worried? Not at all”, Ronting replied, clearly bemused by the question.

“Sure, we lost both the test series and one-day series to South Africa, but really we were on top of the South Africans for 99% of the time. It was just those pesky sessions when our batting collapsed like granddad’s old tent and our bowlers couldn’t hit the pitch, let alone the wicket that let us down, but really we were the better team. Remember we did win the Twenty20’s”

Asked about the pressure he was under, Picky clearly felt the shoe was on the other foot.

“While we are about to lose the No 1 test ranking for the first time in 15 years, I’m not under pressure, its Graeme Smith. He and his young team who no one thought would get close to us in Australia let along the pitches of South Africa are surely feeling the pressure now. When we release our 5 debutants on them they will feel our wrath!”

When asked about how he was going to deal with the young batsman J.P Duminy who made our bowling attack look like North Sydney Under 12’s, Picky felt the need to outline a new strategy.

“We can deal with him this time. We have had a good look at him, mainly when he was batting for hours and sending Brett Lee’s deliveries through the covers for four. He seems to have a few weaknesses, like his inability to hit ones and twos. So I’m thinking we go with the underarm delivery again. Hey it worked against the kiwis”